A review on Bottles.

I have quite a few strong opinions on bottle making companies.  I mean really?  Who designed some of these bottles, It's revolting.  meanwhile I just want to hug, kiss, marry, and impregnate some of the other bottle makers for doing such a great job!  *high fives*


First off.


Salad dressing bottles that don't have a "sploosher" as brandyne and I refer to it.  I think the correct title is an "EZ Squeeze bottle".  The point.  If you have a bottle opening that looks like it's trying to give birth to a 12 pound baby, it's PROBABLY not the best for dispensing even amounts of salad dressing on to salad.  Just saying.  I *try* so hard to use these unconventional bottles to make salad, and I do great and then KABOOM a giant Noah worthy flood occurs thus destroying the Heavenly balanced ratio of dressing-salad-croutons-cheese which makes me want to just throw it all away and start over.  Sometimes I find myself doing this process so many times I run out of salad.  UGH!  So hats off to the genius who thought that we wanted salad dressing soup with floating chunks of lettuce in it!  Your a great man!


Second:


Shampoo/Conditioner/Axe Body soap/etc containers


We all know that these bottles are designed well, at first.  The problem I ran into recently is when you get to the bottom 1/6 of the container.  It's all at the bottom.  So you sit, or rather stand there in the shower shaking the bottle like an angry mom does her baby (wow I like baby references today) trying to get it to get to the proper side.  Now I KNOW what you are thinking, why not just store them sitting upside down so it's ready for you?  Well I would.  Except, that my Axe Fever Brazilian Hot Mud Shower gel will NOT stand that way.  This would be the problem I am concerned about.  WHO CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA?  So back to my story Here I am shaking it harder then I shook anything in my life when I slip on the wet tub and fall down laughing, and still with no luck.  No Brazilian hot mud shower gel for me. I had to use the dark temptation kind instead.  This was very upsetting.  I am sick of companies making things for the aesthetic appearance that look "sexy" but in the end make you fall naked out of the shower on to the ground, not thoroughly cleaned.  It's a problem.


The moral of the story:  Bottles should "SPLOOSH" If it doesn't sploosh, you could wind up naked on the floor unsatisfied with the results.


The.End.


-*insert Clever variation to my name*