A Burnt toast cure

A Burnt toast cure
So Work... A topic I think most people in this day and age like to complain about.  I would definitely fall under this category.  I am BURNT out, burnt out like that black crumbly piece of toast jammed at the bottom of the toaster.  I don't like much sitting at the bottom of this toaster.  The "Toaster" I work for is a not so great place to work these days.  It's full of nepotism, and ignorance.  I don't know how some of these managers became managers.  Maybe they are sleeping with someone's toaster?  I don't know.

Now some of you may wonder how I wound up crusty and trapped at the bottom of this toaster, It all started by working too much too young.  I entered the workforce at the age of 14. STUPIDEST IDEA EVER!  I was working 40 hours a week from that age on, and now I am 19 and can't handle working at all really.  I am done.  I am depressed, all I want to do is die.  Not like slit my wrists die, like not go to work die.  I can't handle it.  I wish I could just go to RC willey and replace this job like I can a toaster.  Apparently I can be trapped in it like a toaster, but can't replace it like a toaster.  This is why analogies are better than life.  If life and analogies were the same, we would be a much happier human race.

So, The cure to this "burnt toast" effect?  Call in every day for a week even though you already can't miss more work?  I just tried that, didn't help much.  I came to work today with even less will power to work.  The attempt at taking some time off was like jabbing a fork in a toaster while still plugged in, at first it seemed like it would help me get out, but in the end I got zapped and am now on the floor convulsing because I am forced to work for 9 hours.  (4.5 hours completed, I am ALMOST done-ish WooT)  So then, what is the cure?  I wish I could tell you, I can't.  If I knew what the cure was, I probably wouldn't have to write about one in an online blog now would I?

For now I will have to just suffer and take extra long breaks, and fantasize via analogies in a very brycissistic manner, and hopefully this reflection will help prevent the spread of burnt toast to the rest of America.  If I can accomplish that, I will have accomplished more than Obama...which I guess doesn't say much does it?

But I am going to log off now before I start a political debate, they usually don't end well.

- Crumbly burnt toast at the bottom of YOUR toaster

A review on Bottles.

I have quite a few strong opinions on bottle making companies.  I mean really?  Who designed some of these bottles, It's revolting.  meanwhile I just want to hug, kiss, marry, and impregnate some of the other bottle makers for doing such a great job!  *high fives*


First off.


Salad dressing bottles that don't have a "sploosher" as brandyne and I refer to it.  I think the correct title is an "EZ Squeeze bottle".  The point.  If you have a bottle opening that looks like it's trying to give birth to a 12 pound baby, it's PROBABLY not the best for dispensing even amounts of salad dressing on to salad.  Just saying.  I *try* so hard to use these unconventional bottles to make salad, and I do great and then KABOOM a giant Noah worthy flood occurs thus destroying the Heavenly balanced ratio of dressing-salad-croutons-cheese which makes me want to just throw it all away and start over.  Sometimes I find myself doing this process so many times I run out of salad.  UGH!  So hats off to the genius who thought that we wanted salad dressing soup with floating chunks of lettuce in it!  Your a great man!


Second:


Shampoo/Conditioner/Axe Body soap/etc containers


We all know that these bottles are designed well, at first.  The problem I ran into recently is when you get to the bottom 1/6 of the container.  It's all at the bottom.  So you sit, or rather stand there in the shower shaking the bottle like an angry mom does her baby (wow I like baby references today) trying to get it to get to the proper side.  Now I KNOW what you are thinking, why not just store them sitting upside down so it's ready for you?  Well I would.  Except, that my Axe Fever Brazilian Hot Mud Shower gel will NOT stand that way.  This would be the problem I am concerned about.  WHO CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA?  So back to my story Here I am shaking it harder then I shook anything in my life when I slip on the wet tub and fall down laughing, and still with no luck.  No Brazilian hot mud shower gel for me. I had to use the dark temptation kind instead.  This was very upsetting.  I am sick of companies making things for the aesthetic appearance that look "sexy" but in the end make you fall naked out of the shower on to the ground, not thoroughly cleaned.  It's a problem.


The moral of the story:  Bottles should "SPLOOSH" If it doesn't sploosh, you could wind up naked on the floor unsatisfied with the results.


The.End.


-*insert Clever variation to my name*

Complications of a stressful life

So basically.  To start off, A life update.  4 Tickets, Going to court for 5 hours on my birthday.  Sounds fun right?  Luckily we will be having a GREAT party that night (assuming i don't get put in jail of course).

So yes it's my BIRTHDAY!!  Except that didn't really deserve those caps, WooT?  I am 19?  I can buy cigerettes?  Too bad i don't smoke.  But whatever.

Also, School starts next week!  That should be interesting right?  Except the whole punching a baby thing.  That doesn't sound great. 

And above all...BRYCE IS STILL SICK.  Yes did you hear that.  Still!!  I am seing an ENT Specialist to xray my head and see wtf is going on in my sinus/throat/nose, etc.  My theory is that i'm dying, which makes the doctors laugh, but i am serious.  So if i turn up dead in the next few days, don't be shocked :D

-Bryce

(stay tuned a new update coming in 5 min, this one being my normal writing style)