Hey guys! I am shocked if anyone is actually still reading this, since I haven't posted in SOOOOOOOO Long. But if you are, then I guess you could be categorized as one of the following options; A) you really like me and think I am fantastic, B) you have no life and thus continue to check this, or C) Really actually enjoy listening to my rants about life. Either way, congratulations for falling under one of these categories I guess!! you Win!!
So why did I decide to write an entry tonight? Well, Good question. This is absolutely the LAST thing I should be doing right now. It's 12:51am right now, and I open up the coffee shop this morning...I have to be AT work at 5am...yeah it's going to be a long day. But nonetheless, here I am watching Frasier, and P!NK's funhouse tour DVD for the millionth time...no exaggeration there. I have a problem.
Here is what is on my mind:
Today I went to the festival of colors. It's my favorite day each year aside to Halloween. I look forward to it. However, this year I went with a different group of people than normal. It was a rather eye opening experience. Allow me to elaborate; Normally, I have had the same type of people who I associate with on a personal level. It's been that way for years. Going to an event that is normally exclusive for those friends, with people who have been in my life for such a short amount of time made me finally realize that I am in fact in a new chapter of my life. I am not entirely sure how I feel about that. Not that the last chapter could be considered a incredibly desirable life, but I feel as though the ending was abrupt, and no conclusive. Not exactly how I want the "Novel" that is representing as my life to be written. And on a separate yet still remotely relevant note, This new chapter is confusing. So far I am NOT a fan. Work is crazy and dramatic, friends are few and far between aside from those who are a part of my daily routine, Roommates are a nightmare, and the dating world is overwhelming.
There is a reason I don't typically enjoy dating. I am not sure why I keep forgetting that. People are a mystery to me. Nobody uses logic, ever. Period. I wish I could change my font size effectively on just the "." just to emphasize how much I mean period. Like never ever ever ever ever ever. Ever. And the next person to say "Matters of the heart are never logical", might lose a limb. And not just any limb, an extremely vital limb ripped for their torso, or like area, with my bear hands. I am not going to delve deep into the details, but sometimes I just feel like I want to crawl into my bed and hibernate for a couple months, and have no human contact. Moral of the story is: I am anxious to the point I can't sleep due to the current dating situations, and I want to throw up. My heart feels like it's been ripped out a thousand times and trampled over, and I hate to talk like this and sound like a pubescent girl, but it is what it is. unfortunately I cant change it.
So there you go.
Going back to the previously used metaphor, I want to fire the author of my "Novel".
And on that note, have a nice day. Hopefully it will be from a less frustrating sense of reality.
-Bryce Kamryn-Hickman
P.S. I really am going to make a solid effort to write more fun things and more frequent, and not just the occasional I hate my life rant. :)
If you find the author of your novel: tell him/her to find mine and then give me a call so I can go homicidal.
ReplyDeleteI've already commented on the rest of this.....
So essentially this comment is useless. But it's 2:30 am, and I'm making it.
Kinda funny that the only other person who has commented is my sister, but anyway. I thought I saw you at the festival and realized it was not you (we went Saturday morning) but thought about you and wondered what you were up to. I am sorry life is so confusing for you! There is this period (probably the one you are in) in life when you are in between playing and being a grownup, not quite completely ready to let go of one or jump into the other, and it is actually quite hard, especially if you do not have someone to share it with (btw, I know someone, and I thought of you). It will get better though. Part of this time is getting 'rid of'(losing touch with) friends that do not matter as much as you thought they did, and it is really hard to have your old life change so completely. It may even take a few years to get used to it. But at a certain point you realize that you do not need those things anymore. I hope it gets easier for you! You are always welcome to talk my ear off if you need. :) Hope this jumble was not too jumbly :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes life happens that way. Though I know you've kept on going through it and not given up. The only way to get out of this confusing chapter is to continue through it the next one. I know you can get in charge of your life. You have dreams and aspirations that I know you could reach as long as you work hard and keep trying.
ReplyDeleteAs for the dating life. My advice is to not worry about it so much. Firstly, you are young, VERY young. You've got time to get into the motion of things and find people you want to date. I don't know if you believe in one special someone, but I wasn't even looking for mine (I'd even written off dating and finding anyone every) and he was suddenly just there. Maybe you're trying too hard and just need to step back and relax from it. Just have fun or just don't do or worry about it. I'm sure you can find someone you can get along with. There's got to be at least one logically thinking person out there.
And with that, I leave you with a good luck and good day.